faith and
11.12.05
i forget a lot
can't seem to hold onto a day
i walk around a lot
maybe i've lost my way
i try a lot
never seem to find what i want
i give away a lot
and some things get taken away
if there was a time
i made a deal
i'd like to know what it was
was it not to feel
cuz try as i might
i feel every slight
overeager
under stress
oversensitive
i try my best
i walk away a lot
got to leave the past behind
i move around a lot
peace of mind's been hard to find
i don't lie a lot
but i think i probably should
i get passed by a lot
trying to stand out does me no good
and there's moments when i'm smiling
where i feel like god
and there's moments where i'm crying
where dying is all i want
tonight i'll go and do again
what makes me fear the most
i'll put myself out there again
and hope it's good to go
soon this house will lie in ruins
10.12.05
don't want anyone to see
wanting everyone to apperciate
alway embarassed
how dare you have brains
always ashamed
how dare you succeed
how in the world did you
blue eyed sycophant girl
become the best at anything
how can that be
the prying eyes demand
wanting less of me
because i'm not a man
and such things create
disquiet
discomfort
questioning
what dares me
really
what the hell does that mean
who dares me
you do
so obviously
now kindly stop staring