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I've Written For Years

disposable
9.4.06

imagine my life in
a series of baggies
strewn here and there
all over and bout
imagine my life
it’s all you can do
it’s not like you lived it
and you have no ideas
you know what i tell you
nothing more
you never felt what i felt
never healed the wounds of old
you can try to guess
what living has been like for me
more unfortunate than most
but you will never really know
you don’t live in this skin
don’t feel and breathe with it
you will always be outside my life
and that’s how i accept you
by giving you just a little bit
the slightest peek inside
so we can share this cup of understanding
so we can shelter from the cold
always separate in our wrappers
but feeling totally unalone

posted by Ambrrrr ,




ashen reflex
8.4.06

i sit in the soft light
hands by my side
soft whispers coming
taking over the life

i stray in the background
blending into the night
the wet light pavement
coloured in neon light

i walk down the sunshine
a smile for all to see
no one looks directly
it’s so fearsome being me

in the half time
in the halls
there are ghosts here
there are no walls

i went off on a tangent
that became my life
i went out for a moment
and forgot my strife

if i never grow up
inside I will still be old
if i always feel too much
how much can I hold

i sit in the soft light
hands by my side
i break and pour softly
no one sees tears cried

i run with the water
i sit in the waves
panic and fear
where no one is saved

i fly with the dead air
i skim by the page
i tried to be known
blinded all with the clear

keep rounding the corner
i hide in plain sight
keep coming now and ever
things always get better

posted by Ambrrrr ,




the darkling

in the darkling
i dream of scenes
i dream of drawn colours
and people happening
i watch it unfolding
the rhyme and the lie
it’s all happening
behind my eye
i can dream for a moment
of the raining black sun
of the bleeding dry darkness
and the wet running neon
coming together on the pavement
and lighting the patent shoes
of the wandering one
i see the green velvet pool hall
hear the black satin speech
walk the fluffy sand pathways
with everyone else’s feet
and in the second that i notice
i am two people at once
both aware the other is there
until the time fades
and i’m alone again
under the sheets
deep in the darkling

posted by Ambrrrr ,




punk communication
6.4.06

bring you back
take you down
hold this hand
round and round
there are sights
there are sounds
bring you back
trip around

in an instant
in a sight
in the twinkle
of an eye
saw it whisper
saw it cry
saw it wither
saw it die

brought you back
took you down
brought the thought out
killed the clout
walking wounded
strays and hound
walking grounded
scream and burn

in an instant
in a sight
in the twinkle
of an eye
saw it whisper
saw it cry
saw it wither
saw it die

there was a moment
there was a time
there was a feeling
there was a crime
who didn't do it
who didn't lie
who didn't call out
who didn't

in the glorious sunshine
in the sloppy rain
in the wonderful waters
of the deepest pain
someone is saving
someone is caving
someone is playing
for some more time

who is the wonder
who is the call
who is the lover
over whom must fall
in the bitter winter
in the frozen spring
the coming catalyst
will always sing

oh hallelujiah
oh missive thing
of california
and other unknown things
pull the time up
pull the strings
help to warm me
let us hurt
no
thing

posted by Ambrrrr ,